Friday, June 16, 2006
the feeling for the week
All week I have been feeling so disapointed. I can't explain it any more then that. Monday wasn't too bad, I was in a good mood for the most part but Tuesday I just felt so disapointed. I don't know if its at myself, or just in general at everything. Just don't know but its not a good feeling.
So Monday was fine...had my two classes and went to sleep that night. Oh, and I had a job interview at the Christmas Tree Shops at 2 that day and it seemed to go just fine. Tuesday I was back at the Christmas Tree Shops at 1 for my 2nd interview and once again it was fine. Just they didn't seem to really care, I was pretty much just hired. They pretty much said "come and work for us and if you don't work out we'll just fire you" and so thats good...I have a job now but I kind of wish they really wanted me to work there. Anyway.... I met with my friend Nea Tues evebing abd we did our history exams together and that really helped me. I went by my parents to tell they about my job and only mom was there and she didn't seem to really care. I think she wants me working fulltime and making huge money...well thats never going to happen...and the big reason I am in school is so I can get a job and make good money...I'll never be a zillion-aire. She gave me a check for my condo fees and I said thank you over and over and she was pretty nice about it ewven if she was quite smug but I don't really care.
Wednesday I had school again and it was fine, I just felt really disapointed. I brought Laurey to my parents house before my morning class so that I would be able to walk her from their house after class. I went to Old Navy after class to return a pair of capris I had bought that didn't fit and ended up spending way too much money and I need to go back to return another pair of capris that are not cute enough to cost $30. I bought a pair of capris and a couple of golf shirts, collared shirts, to wear to my new job. We can wear t-shirt and stuff but I'd like to have some a little nicer shirts to wear and they are comfy. So when I dropped off Laurey at my parents and I talked with my dad for a sec and I told him that he needs to buy me new sneakers for my new job because that is what they want us to wear (and thats the truth) and he said okay. I found out my mom was pissed that I start work on Sunday (this Sunday) because she wanted me to go down to her camp that day for Father's Day but I can't since I have work and I couldn't afford the gas anyway. So we are going to go out to dinner that night...my dad is fine with me not going down there, he wants to come back to Burlington early anyway.
Thursday I really didn't do much. I lay in the sunshine for about 45 minutes in the morning, was back inside just after 11 and I got a little pink but not red or burnt so thats good. I'd like to get some color, especially on my legs but I don't want to burn and I think the sunshine is good for me. Laurey loves lying outside too. In the afternoon when I went to put Laurey out on her line I noticed we have snakes living on my deck and I don't like snakes! I'm not deathly scared of them but I really don't like them.... I emailed to my property manager but of course didn't hear back from her...I don't really know what to do about the snakes. I think they went to come inside since one of them keep hanging out on my screened door! But one of them wiggles away under the step as soon as I come out but the other one, the bigger one, just lies there and I guess thinks I can't seen him. Yuck.
I had asked my friend ZamMan if he wanted to come over Thurs evening but he just kind of ignored it and when I did talk with him on IM he said he was going to hang out with friends. So then I was walking with Laurey about an hour later and we walk around this industrial area I noticed that there was a couple of guys over next to an open bay and they were surrounding a car and well...there he was. I didn't go over and say Hi or anything. Just kept on walking and Laurey and I headed home. Decided to do some drinking.... Had 3 Labatt Blue in a can in about 45 minutes and I was feeling a little sick but I didn't throw up or anything. I think I made a few phone calls. I know Bethie called me and I was kinda non-talkative...sorry Bethie!...and I know I sent some kind of strange IM's and emails. I don't think I'm less scared when I'm drunk or that I say more then I would when I'm not drinking...but maybe I am.
So I went to bed around midnight and slept until almost 9 this morning. Didn't do much until 1:45 when I left for the dermatoligist and had a check-up. I thought/hoped she'd be cutting off some moles today but she wants to wait another 6 months...no reason really, just thinks we don't need to "jump" on cutting up my skin more. She did give me a new cream stuff to use on my face rather then the retin A since I am really pink and hurting from it so hopefully it will be better for me...and my insurance covered it in full with no arguement, always a good thing when it goes so easily!
So now its almost 8:30 on Friday night and I am alone at my house. I made pizza for dinner and it was good and I ate some of it even though I really wasn't hungry...I never really feel hungry anymore but I keep on eating. *sigh* Alone...alone...alone...that is what I am. So I hope you have a nice weekend. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow...should do some reading for school, hopefully I will, and should walk Laurey, once again...hopefully I will. Miss you. L, E
So Monday was fine...had my two classes and went to sleep that night. Oh, and I had a job interview at the Christmas Tree Shops at 2 that day and it seemed to go just fine. Tuesday I was back at the Christmas Tree Shops at 1 for my 2nd interview and once again it was fine. Just they didn't seem to really care, I was pretty much just hired. They pretty much said "come and work for us and if you don't work out we'll just fire you" and so thats good...I have a job now but I kind of wish they really wanted me to work there. Anyway.... I met with my friend Nea Tues evebing abd we did our history exams together and that really helped me. I went by my parents to tell they about my job and only mom was there and she didn't seem to really care. I think she wants me working fulltime and making huge money...well thats never going to happen...and the big reason I am in school is so I can get a job and make good money...I'll never be a zillion-aire. She gave me a check for my condo fees and I said thank you over and over and she was pretty nice about it ewven if she was quite smug but I don't really care.
Wednesday I had school again and it was fine, I just felt really disapointed. I brought Laurey to my parents house before my morning class so that I would be able to walk her from their house after class. I went to Old Navy after class to return a pair of capris I had bought that didn't fit and ended up spending way too much money and I need to go back to return another pair of capris that are not cute enough to cost $30. I bought a pair of capris and a couple of golf shirts, collared shirts, to wear to my new job. We can wear t-shirt and stuff but I'd like to have some a little nicer shirts to wear and they are comfy. So when I dropped off Laurey at my parents and I talked with my dad for a sec and I told him that he needs to buy me new sneakers for my new job because that is what they want us to wear (and thats the truth) and he said okay. I found out my mom was pissed that I start work on Sunday (this Sunday) because she wanted me to go down to her camp that day for Father's Day but I can't since I have work and I couldn't afford the gas anyway. So we are going to go out to dinner that night...my dad is fine with me not going down there, he wants to come back to Burlington early anyway.
Thursday I really didn't do much. I lay in the sunshine for about 45 minutes in the morning, was back inside just after 11 and I got a little pink but not red or burnt so thats good. I'd like to get some color, especially on my legs but I don't want to burn and I think the sunshine is good for me. Laurey loves lying outside too. In the afternoon when I went to put Laurey out on her line I noticed we have snakes living on my deck and I don't like snakes! I'm not deathly scared of them but I really don't like them.... I emailed to my property manager but of course didn't hear back from her...I don't really know what to do about the snakes. I think they went to come inside since one of them keep hanging out on my screened door! But one of them wiggles away under the step as soon as I come out but the other one, the bigger one, just lies there and I guess thinks I can't seen him. Yuck.
I had asked my friend ZamMan if he wanted to come over Thurs evening but he just kind of ignored it and when I did talk with him on IM he said he was going to hang out with friends. So then I was walking with Laurey about an hour later and we walk around this industrial area I noticed that there was a couple of guys over next to an open bay and they were surrounding a car and well...there he was. I didn't go over and say Hi or anything. Just kept on walking and Laurey and I headed home. Decided to do some drinking.... Had 3 Labatt Blue in a can in about 45 minutes and I was feeling a little sick but I didn't throw up or anything. I think I made a few phone calls. I know Bethie called me and I was kinda non-talkative...sorry Bethie!...and I know I sent some kind of strange IM's and emails. I don't think I'm less scared when I'm drunk or that I say more then I would when I'm not drinking...but maybe I am.
So I went to bed around midnight and slept until almost 9 this morning. Didn't do much until 1:45 when I left for the dermatoligist and had a check-up. I thought/hoped she'd be cutting off some moles today but she wants to wait another 6 months...no reason really, just thinks we don't need to "jump" on cutting up my skin more. She did give me a new cream stuff to use on my face rather then the retin A since I am really pink and hurting from it so hopefully it will be better for me...and my insurance covered it in full with no arguement, always a good thing when it goes so easily!
So now its almost 8:30 on Friday night and I am alone at my house. I made pizza for dinner and it was good and I ate some of it even though I really wasn't hungry...I never really feel hungry anymore but I keep on eating. *sigh* Alone...alone...alone...that is what I am. So I hope you have a nice weekend. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow...should do some reading for school, hopefully I will, and should walk Laurey, once again...hopefully I will. Miss you. L, E
