Wednesday, August 31, 2005
snapshots from my Hell
Woke up at 7 with the dog asleep on my arm and I couldn't feel it or move. Took about an hour until it was back to normal.
Got into work at 8:30 (should have been there for 8 but it didn't happen) and I was crying by 8:37, getting bitched out by one of my warehouse managers because I made 1 tiny mistake and didn't change the priority on an order. It really wasn't a big deal, he just wanted to be a prick about it.
Was pretty much straight out busy with emails and phone calls and faxes all day. Ran out to buy lunch but only ate my cheeseburger, not the fries, just didn't have an appitite...too tense. Didn't have any 'down time' until 3ish when I finally was able to run and complete one of my reports that I'm suppose to do daily but haven't since Friday....
Left at 5, drove home as fast as possible because the rain clouds were moving in again. Made it home and changed and was just about to walk outside with Laurey when it starts pouring down! Took her out for about 2 mins to 'to her business' real quick and both of us were soaked.
Went for a walk around 5:40 when the rain died down a little. But...I had left my umbrella at work! Since I was already soaked it didn't matter too much. We walked about 1 mile and Laurey had fun splashing in the puddles while I managed to walk through a puddle so deep the water went over the tops of my hiking boats...my mind was on something else.
Went to the grocery for milk and laundry soap. Gas prices are well over $3!
So 2 more days of Hell this week and 2 more next week and then I can (hopefully) have just my own job back to do and I will be able to take care of my customers the way I want to. I am just so busy, reading hundreds of emails and phone calls and faxes and everything, having to take care of so much I'm not able to take the time and have the patience to give the customer service I want to. I have had so many compliments on what a great job I do from my B&J's customers and employees, I want to keep up that level of service, just not able to when I'm doing my work and someone elses work too. So I just do my best and make sure nothing gets overlooked, thats all I can do.
Now I'm online and no one is here to IM with me. Lonely. I think I'll go back to my heating pad on my sofa and hope there is something good on the tv. I am so tense right now my back and shoulders are all in knots. I need a hug. L, E
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Oh...got a hug from the mayor of Winooski...no idea why really. I guess his wife knows my dad so she introduced my dad to her husband, Mr. Mayor, and my dad introduced me and I got a hug.
Still having a hell time at work covering for my coworker. Need to go in for 8 tomorrow morning. Probably should try to sleep early but my insomnia will probably not let me sleep so I'll just lie awake in my bed staring at the stars on my ceiling and out the window. L, E
Monday, August 29, 2005
the controversy of my shirt
My day at work was rather uneventful over all. Busy with all the extra work and trying do my 150% like I always do for my customers.
Going to the Champlain Valley Fair tomorrow night with my dad. www.cvfair.com We'll walk around and see all the animals and pick up all the free pens and magnets, etc. Should be fun! L, E
Saturday, August 27, 2005
I know, I know.
Last week at work sucked. I hate my job. But Thursday I finally stopped letting them all get to me. I stuck up for myself to my boss against one of my co-workers and started to do what I need to to protect myself in that place. Friday wasn't too bad after that. I feel I showed more of my true colors, that I can't just be treated badly and made to look like an ass, I can do that all on my own. So overall I survived and more last week. Next 10 work days will be horrible as I have to cover for one of my coworkers and she did her very best to set me up to fail. And I know she won't be happy with how I handle her accounts but as long as I do the best I can, and that is what I will do, then I haven't failed and she can stick it up her ass.
Today Laurey and I finally took the walk I have been wanting to along the bikepath by the Burlington waterfront, Lake Champlain. Notice I said bikepath...i have walked on it before and have never almost been killed by so many psycho people on bikes before today! And it was all kind of people on bikes, from the chick in the tiny miniskirt to the old hag in the flowered blouse and long pants to Grandpa with his spandex. Laurey did well too. We did over 4 miles in under an hour but she's exhausted and her hips/shoulders are sore...poor pup, I had to fully lift her into my jeep to go home. It wouldn't have been to bad except I had let her go swimming to cool down and she hadn't shaken at all so I was soaked.
Came home to a "not available" hang-up on my caller ID...wish people would leave me messages when they call me and I'm not home. Baked a ton of Chocolate Chip Cookies for my dad to feed to the UVM (University of Vermont) students he's advising tomorrow, I'm such a good daughter. Actually I owed him $20 so this was payment. also baked a tomato pie which is yummier then it sounds except I think I needed to bake the pie crust before I put the tomatos, mustard and cheese in it, oh well. I had some for my dinner and it was yummy.
So that was my last week and my Saturday. Such fun I know. Tomorrow I'm driving down to my parents lake house on Dunmore and going to an "end of summer" BBQ with my mom...should be a barrel of laughs, last year when I went I spend the whole time getting drinks for old people but they all appreciated it so I didn't mind.
OH! I burned my index finger on right hand when I was taking the last tray of cookies...still stings even though I had it in cold water for a long time and put aloe on it. Just a sacrafice to the baking Gods I guess.
Monday, August 22, 2005
I'm sure I have lots of other things I could dsay but I'm sleepy and my bed looks so comfy so I'm going to be crawling into it in about 3 mins. Its freezing cold in my bedroom, just turned off the a/c and I'm shivering cold, just 1 more reason to get into bed. So G'nite to you and have nice dreams. L, E
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Didn't do too much else today, just relaxed and took a nap when we got back from Burlington. Watched the movie "Hide and Seek" wasn't disapointed so much as it was just lame overall. Oh well...waste of $4 for the rental, could be worse. My house is all sparkling clean, its kind of nice actually. Maybe I should scrup clean more often.
Went to the parents house tonight so Dad could help me with my resume. Now its polished and I actually need to get my ass in gear and start applying for jobs. I need to make my life better. Getting a new job will be a very good start with that. I have to believe that if my working 8 hours per day is better then my personal 8 hours will be better too. Plus any job I get will be paying me more $$ so that will be very helpful too. So cross your fringers for me and send me your good wishes! L, E
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Anyway...my Saturday has been lazy and productive. I slept in and watched a movie "The Sweetest Thing" and went to my parents house and Laurey and I walked for an hour, probably about 4 miles, forgot to wear my step counter. Then we stoped at the grocery on the way home and I dragged the 4 bags up the stairs by myself. Put everything away and cleaned my kitchen, got all the old peanut butter out of the sink. Vaccuumed and swept all 4 rooms and have been doing laundry all day. Wow...I'm quite a homemaker...:) And I'm baking cookies right now, 1 batch of Butterscotch chip and 1 batch of Chocolate chip.
Funny how I bake cookies all the time but I almost never eat the cookies I bake. Useto be because I'm pig out on the cookie dough but now I'm even sick of that. I just like keeping busy and baking cookies does that...and people like me when I bring cookies.
So my head hurts now...kind of feel sick. Don't know if its because I smacked my head or because I was nibbling on the raw cookie dough. Laurey is sleeping on the floor next to me, she's tired from out walk this afternoon. Tomorrow (if it doesn't rain) I'm going to take her on the bikepath like I planned last weekend but its suppose to thunderstorm so I'll have to wait and see.
So I need to take the next batch of cookies out of the oven. Rockin' Saturday night for me, I know. But hey...someone give me something better to do!! L, E
Thursday, August 18, 2005
was going to but....
I spend probably 20 minutes cleaning my kitchen, putting away the clean dishes and putting the dirty ones in the dishwasher, scrubbed the counter. Then I decided to be nice to Laurey and put some peanut butter in her chewing bone for her as a treat. So I get her bone and the PB and a knife and scoop out of PB and put it on her bone and as I do that I manage to slop the PB all over my nice clean counter. And you can't just wipe up PB, especially when you don't buy papertowels like me. So I tried wiping it with with my sponge, which is all covered with PB now, and that just mostly smeared it around. Then I cleaned the rest up with a dish towel and threw it into the laundry. My counter is clean but I'm mildly annoyed with myself for making such a mess.
Anyway...just the usual SSDD over all. My ex-fiancee is IMing to me, wow did I dodge a bullet with that loser! L, E
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
up and down
I realized today that you can divide each 24 hour day into 3 equal parts of 8 hours:
So I have the 8 hours of sleep down, for the most part I'm very good at sleeping, except when I have my insomnia attacks...but I think I have the sleeping 8 hours down. Althought I am sleeping alone....
The working 8 hours...I hate my job. I think I have either reached the point or am about 1 inch from the point when I either need to start screaming and throwing my computer or find a new job and move on. So since I have no desire to spend time in jail or the mental asylum, I am going to start the new job search! Woohoo1 Need to fix up my resume and find some jobs to apply for and go for it...I can do it, I know I can.
And the 8 hours of 'personal' time. I use this time to shower and do laundry and bake cookies and walk Laurey, all that jazz. Whatelse am I suppose to do during this time? Hang out with friends? I'd need to get some of those to do that. Email/IM...already do that when I can find someone I know online to talk with. Dating...I have so many comments to make about that but I can't seem to sort them out.
So that is 24 hours of my life. Ouch. I promise I'm not as pathetic and I sound. L, E
Sunday, August 14, 2005
favorite yellow socks
Yesterday was nice for me. Laurey and I went to my parents house on Lake Dunmore and relaxed. I even had a nice little nap in my hammock...loved every second I was lying in there. Was so relaxed, had nice day dreams...;) Laurey did some swimming and then I went in for a few ...water was beautiful warm! I had made chocolate pudding pie (very yummy!) and I wish I hadn't let the rest of it there, wouldn't mind a piece right now...oh well. Had microwave pizza for lunch..ok but nothing special.
So I hadn't written for a few days, no reason really...just thinking a lot and not taking the time to type it all out for you all. I know..naughty me. What can I say...I was thinking of you. I type this like I'm typing an email to a friend. I think that is why it works for me, because first of all it saves me from annoying my friends with too many emails and it gives me a good outlet for all my useless chatter. But I am very happy and flattered with people read this and comment...gives me smiles.
I'm wearing my favorite yellow socks today. Thinking of baking some cookies at some point today and I need to go to the grocery too. WIll need to walk Laurey too, hopefully the drizzle rain will let up sometime. But I'm thinking I should take a nice nap on my sofa right about now...I've had a hard day so far...got up and watched a movie and then lay in bed and read my book and took a shower and got dressed. Took Laurey out on her leash real quick...all of that beofre 1pm! Oh...and I talked in IM with my friend in Bosra Iraq. Was very happy to get to talk to him..have ben worried since I haven't heard anything from him in a few weeks. But he's just fine...enjoying waving his gun around as usual. L, E
Thursday, August 11, 2005
been 2 days
Talked with my best VT friend for awile last night right when I got home from work, Laurey had to wait for her walk and she wasn't happy about that but she survived. We only walked about 3 miles but it felt good, even if it was muggy and warm. My bruise on my left leg from hiking last weekend still hurts and is turning a very pretty blue-purple color. Couldn't decide what to wear this morning, wanted to wear windpants and my "Speed Racer" t-shirt but compromised on a nicer shirt and shorts.
So I'm at work now and shouldn't be doing this. I'll write more tonight. ~E
Monday, August 08, 2005
dinner & drive home
Drive home was fun, flying around in backroads with no painted lines on them, not really even knowing where I'm going...loved every second of it!
Home now...going to crawl into bed soon. G'nite to you all. L, E
Got some very good advice from a friend today. After reading his email I just wanted to tell him that I loved him...loved him in a non-sexual, healthy friend way. I have a small group of friends but they are all amazing in their own way and I am very lucky. L, E
Sunday, August 07, 2005
My mom takes us (me, Laurey my dog, my dad, my uncle & aunt) on a hike. About 1 mile to the trail head, no problem at all. About 1 mile up steep rocks and grass, ok...I'm doing fine. Another 3 miles STRAIGHT UP a mountain side in rocks and stumps and roots and leaves. I'm dying! Plus I was in sneakers with no tred...yes...stupid me, I know. So I was feeling quite fat and out of shape. Now I'm not fat, but I was feeling fat...there is a difference. Even Laurey was feeling it. I had to shove her ass up quite a few rocks along the first part. So we walk these 3 miles up. Get to the trail i ntersection and then to get to the lookout have to go back down. Wait...down in the wrong direction...I went even thought I wanted to colapse on a pile of leaves and wait.
Ok, so the view was worth it! AMAZING! Could see the mountains of NY and Lake Champlain in the distance. All of Lake Dunmore was spread out. Just beautiful. Just don't tell my mother I said it was worth it!
Walking back down was better. fell on my ass once but jumped right back up...no one saw but I'll still admit it. Poor Laurey was dying too. She drank up have the river when we got back towards the trailhead. She's sleeping on my bed right now, I don't think she could wake up fully even if she wanted to. Went in swimming after I got back to the cabin and gulped a huge glass of water and 2 advils, water felt amazing.
So I lived to tell my story and that is something to be proud of! I think I'll crawl back into bed now. L, E
Friday, August 05, 2005
Friday Baking Night
Rocked out at work today, did all my spreadsheet orders so quickly! I was proud, even if no oone else was. Had a good day overall...nothing big, nothing bad.
Walked Laurey for 3+ miles and we both are feeling it...that is feeling lazy. Should have walked more...oh well. OH! Had a bad pick-up this morning...BAD BAD pick-up. Bad pick-up = got dogshit on my hand when I picked up after Laurey this morning. So nasty! Used a ton of dishsoap and the scrub brush on both hands after, just to make sure. Then I used my coco butter lotion...smells yummy.
Going down to Dunmore Lake House tomorrow for the day. Gonna do some swimming. Hoping to get some time in my hammock! Should be fun.
I sent my bestest friend the link to here and she came and read and posted. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful bestest friend as I do! Love you Bethie!! L, E
Thursday, August 04, 2005
dragging the dog
Got online to check email and none...:( I had checked my email 12 times before noon today and then I stoped keeping track. Only had 1 email all day. Hate it when spam gets into my inbox because for that 2.2 seconds it takes for the inbox to open I think someone might love me...and then no. My computer did a wacky thing and suddenly opened about 100 internet windows. It was crazy! Did a reboot and since it didn't happen again I have no idea what was going on. I was a little busier today at work the usual and that was good. Of course that is because I had been slacking on the 'activities report' and had to catch it up 6 weeks. Ooops! Finally got my promo orders ready, have to get those entered tomorrow, will have a busy Friday. Such fun.
I know I should have more to say but my brain just isn't coming up with anything to type...so I will say G'nite and G'bye and thx for reading me. L, E
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Drove over to Evan and Alison's place. Love it there, so comfy and cozy and cluttered, but a nice, homey cluttered. Hope they don't mind me saying that! Their dog was all cute, giving me kisses, and the cats were running around. Beanie even cuddled up on my lap. Had steak and corn on the cob and french, excuse me, Freedom Fries. Very yummy. Then sat outside and chatted with Evan a little bit, had been chatting with Alison inside when Evan was killing the meat on the BBQ. We watched a little TV and then I headed home.
Gased up my jeep a little for $2.33 per gallon...yikes! $20 didn't get me very far. Oh well. No using the a/c or zooming around. Have to be careful, extra poor until next payday, week from this Friday. So the story of my jeep from yesterday will still have to wait, I promise it will come. Just keep having other things to talk about. I'm a good blogger so far...:)
Oh! So slow at work today, must have checked email over 50 times, probably many many more then that. Maybe I should keep track. I know...its an addiction, technically called a "soft addiction" because its not life-harming, just obsessive. Oh well. L, E
Just real quick...my new boss got a huge vase of flowers today! So nice and sweet. The flowers are roses and some other dark ones. They are very pretty bit not what I would want for myself. I like daisys and sunflowers and daffodils (sp?) and happy looking flowers. Roses are pretty too I guess...love the smell. Both me and my co-worker were like "oh...I want flowers!" and then she said "I'm going to email my boyfriend and tell him to buy me flowers" and I was like "I'll have to buy my own flowers." So I surfed around on www.FTD.com and found some cute flowers and right clicked the pictures.
Now please don't think I'm begging for flowers. Just saying how I was feeling. And I didn't buy any for myself...mayeb next paycheck.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
The news guy had just said how over 1800 US soldiers have been killed in Iraq and he was talking about insurgents and how there aren't enough US troops to keep on top of everything. That in itself wasn't a very happy thing to hear. Then my dad says "Its just like Vietnam" and that just made me feel sick. I wasn't alive during the Vietnam war and I'll be honest that I haven't really studied up on it too much. But I do remember going to the Vietnam War memorial in Washington DC with my parents and brother in the evening. My dad looked up a guy he knew from his h ometown. I remember asking if he knew him very well and he was like "he grew up in Canton" and I didn't exactly know what the ment but I knew not to ask anymore. He didn't look up anyone else and we didn't stay very long.
My dad was lucky. He was stationed in Korea during the Vietnam war so he wasn't in a war zone. I was lucky too because I wouldn't be here if things had been different for him.
Driving home I was wondering if other people had said or thought the same thing tonight watching the news. I wonder if any of President GW's staff/advisors/war planers have though the same thing too....
I had a friend in the military who pointed out o me that only bad things that happen to the military are reported on the news and in the newspapers/online. Yes...that is true but unfortunately that is what the 'big bosses' have decided the American public needs to know. I don't really know what more to say except I do feel lucky to get to cuddle up in my safe warm bed everynight and I respect the rights that I have as an American. L, E
Monday, August 01, 2005
Only walking about 2 miles today, used the thunder and lightning storm as an excuse and probably shouldn't but too late now. Had Chicken Charlie's for dinner...yum!
Work was slow...hardly any phone calls or orders so had too much time to do nothing. New boss started...she seems nice I guess. Bad handshake and too much make-up but can't judge too much on that. I wore my pink skirt and the under part of it kept bugging me all day. Need to buy shirt that matches it a little better then the one I wore today.
Forgot to pay my insurance bill last month. Well...don't know so much if I forgot as I just didn't do it. $15 late fee...will have it pay it next paycheck since I am already poor after being paid last Friday and I still haven't gotten gas in Peep Jeep. Sometimes I hate being an adult!
My computer is making strange noises and is not very happy tonight so I probably should power down...but someone interesting just IM'ed to me...:)
Going to my parents for dinner tomorrow night so I'm sure I'll have lots of bitching to do on here after I get back. L, E