Friday, September 15, 2006
I might have the apnea
I went to my doctor on Wed morning and we talked about how I have been sleeping so much, especially during the day, and how I have no energy and am not being able to get myself to take care of the things I need to be. She said that I might have sleep apnea. I wasn't really happy to hear that but I guess knowing there might be a reason other then depression and/or anxiety would be a change. So she prescribed me welbutrin to take twice a day and hopefully they will help with my energy levels and then I won't be sleeping during the day. I also had blood drawn to check for the apnea how ever they can.
So I have been reading about sleep apnea and I do have some of the big symptions and it would make sense that I have it. Also I have a severly sever deviated septum (only get about 80% of the normal air flow I should in my right side of my nose) so that might be part of the problem too. I saw a ENT doctor a couple of years ago and he said that he's be happy to fix it for me but I really wasn't wanting surgery...still wouldn't want to have it but since it might really be a health factor I might be going through it. But I have to wait and see. We are going to wait about 2 months to see how the welbutrin does for me and then if I'm not awake more I'll go to the sleep clinic and get checked out. Yuck...I like sleeping in my own bed.
Wednesday night I had pizza and a nice catch-up talking session with my friend Heather. We useto work together at Reso and bonded very quickly. She's such a sweetie and very open and honest. We talked about the "men" in my life and out of my life and she, as always, had good advice for me. [Oh, and she hates Swichi too!] We both said that we need to hang out more and I am really going to work for that.
This Sunday is the annual 'Dog Day' at Shelburne Museum and I'm planning to take Laurey. Its lots of fun and we'll get to see every different kind of dog, from the tiny rat-sized to dogs bigger then me! So I'm sure we'll have fun. I did ask some friends to come with me but Evan and Alison are too busy and SJ is out of town. And I asked my dad to come with me too because I know he'd have fun but he has a party to go to at a coworkers house so I think it will just be me and Laurey again. Thats fine...just wish I had friends who wanted to do the same stuff as me...maybe someday.
I am feeling more then a little down...not exactly depressed so much as lonely and very alone. I call friends at night when I get home but no one answers or calls me back. Aparantly its because I give too much that people don't like to be around me. I come off as crazy desperate and thats unattractive. Its funny...I don't miss Swichi. But I miss the companionship. I miss having someone to spend time with and who would hug me. I was watching 'Laguna Beach' on MTV the other day and Cameron and Tessa were all cuddled up together, legs tangled up and kissing...I want that. *sigh*
I work tonight but I told SJ last night that I wasn't working, hoping he'd want to get together. He doesn't have any plans but he didn't seem to get my hints. I was able to flat out ask if he wanted to get dinner or watch a movie when he started whining that he hasn't been hanging out with his neighbor all week and he was lonely. I said that I'd like to hang out with him after his week in the evenings but he said "No, you don't have to" and I really didn't know what to say to that. His cousin told me that he's "crazy" about me but since he won't spend time with me or even call me, then I really don't see any kind of future. And I am sick of talking with him on IM when we discuss the weather and how I'm cold and I tell him what Laurey did today since he doesn't care to ask how school or work was for me...I always ask how his work was. And the ironic part is that I'm not "crazy" about him. He's nice and I have a nice time when we have been together but I'm not desperately attracted to him. I certainly don't feel that if I did become involved with him that I would be settling. But I don't want to die alone or be alone until I die and I have fun with him.... But it probably doesn't matter anyway.
So now that I have been all depressed, sad and whiney on here maybe I will get to have a better day, I sure hope so! And I hope you all have a nice day and weekend. I'm working Saturday and then hitting the library that night and again Sunday morning before Laurey and I go to the dogfest. L, E
So I have been reading about sleep apnea and I do have some of the big symptions and it would make sense that I have it. Also I have a severly sever deviated septum (only get about 80% of the normal air flow I should in my right side of my nose) so that might be part of the problem too. I saw a ENT doctor a couple of years ago and he said that he's be happy to fix it for me but I really wasn't wanting surgery...still wouldn't want to have it but since it might really be a health factor I might be going through it. But I have to wait and see. We are going to wait about 2 months to see how the welbutrin does for me and then if I'm not awake more I'll go to the sleep clinic and get checked out. Yuck...I like sleeping in my own bed.
Wednesday night I had pizza and a nice catch-up talking session with my friend Heather. We useto work together at Reso and bonded very quickly. She's such a sweetie and very open and honest. We talked about the "men" in my life and out of my life and she, as always, had good advice for me. [Oh, and she hates Swichi too!] We both said that we need to hang out more and I am really going to work for that.
This Sunday is the annual 'Dog Day' at Shelburne Museum and I'm planning to take Laurey. Its lots of fun and we'll get to see every different kind of dog, from the tiny rat-sized to dogs bigger then me! So I'm sure we'll have fun. I did ask some friends to come with me but Evan and Alison are too busy and SJ is out of town. And I asked my dad to come with me too because I know he'd have fun but he has a party to go to at a coworkers house so I think it will just be me and Laurey again. Thats fine...just wish I had friends who wanted to do the same stuff as me...maybe someday.
I am feeling more then a little down...not exactly depressed so much as lonely and very alone. I call friends at night when I get home but no one answers or calls me back. Aparantly its because I give too much that people don't like to be around me. I come off as crazy desperate and thats unattractive. Its funny...I don't miss Swichi. But I miss the companionship. I miss having someone to spend time with and who would hug me. I was watching 'Laguna Beach' on MTV the other day and Cameron and Tessa were all cuddled up together, legs tangled up and kissing...I want that. *sigh*
I work tonight but I told SJ last night that I wasn't working, hoping he'd want to get together. He doesn't have any plans but he didn't seem to get my hints. I was able to flat out ask if he wanted to get dinner or watch a movie when he started whining that he hasn't been hanging out with his neighbor all week and he was lonely. I said that I'd like to hang out with him after his week in the evenings but he said "No, you don't have to" and I really didn't know what to say to that. His cousin told me that he's "crazy" about me but since he won't spend time with me or even call me, then I really don't see any kind of future. And I am sick of talking with him on IM when we discuss the weather and how I'm cold and I tell him what Laurey did today since he doesn't care to ask how school or work was for me...I always ask how his work was. And the ironic part is that I'm not "crazy" about him. He's nice and I have a nice time when we have been together but I'm not desperately attracted to him. I certainly don't feel that if I did become involved with him that I would be settling. But I don't want to die alone or be alone until I die and I have fun with him.... But it probably doesn't matter anyway.
So now that I have been all depressed, sad and whiney on here maybe I will get to have a better day, I sure hope so! And I hope you all have a nice day and weekend. I'm working Saturday and then hitting the library that night and again Sunday morning before Laurey and I go to the dogfest. L, E
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My mom has sleep apnea and got one of those CPAP machines and it makes a world of difference for her. Endure a little testing and a couple nights in a strange bed will be worth it when they are able to fix the problem! You will feel so good again.... just wait!
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