Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Crash
The past few days haven't been too good for me. I don't exactly know why. I just feel so sad and so lonely that I want to cry. But I can't cry. And that makes it worse. Today I didn't even get off my sofa until 2, didn't go to school. It took me so long to get dressed after I took my shower. But Laurey and I did walk. That was good, the exercise and fresh air but I thought too much when I was walking and I think that might have even made me feel worse.
I haven't been blogging because I don't want to have every since post be so emotional and about how sad/upset/lonely I am. And I have been all those things the past few days.
Even work hasn't been good. Saturday I got guilt about changing my available time from the front office manager...she said she wanted to have me train to work the customer service desk - and I would like to learn to do that - but since the hours I am available to work aren't what they want, they won't give me that opprotunity/promotion. Tuesday I just felt so sad being there. The 'spark' was gone. I really liked working there and I big reason was that there was no pressure, it was fun and easy. But with the guilt...its not so fun anymore. And my schedule for this week and next week aren't ideal and once again I had to have them fixed since they scheduled me for times I'm in school. Oh well. Maybe I need to look for a new job. I know every place I work will have some guilt/annoyances but I need a company that will be flexable with the hours I do have available, I will not schedule my school around work. For $8 per hour it is not worth it at all! I guess I'll just see who is hiring and what happens at Xmas Trees from now on.
My finger is better. I 'popped' it last Friday and mushed out almost all the puss and then most of the skin that was over the puss peeled off on Sunday and I think its almost back to normal. I've been using lots of antibacterial gel stuff at work and washing my hands alot and I hope that will help so I won't get any more infections.
I had my hair cut last Thursday. Had about 4 and 1/2 inches snipped off. I liked it that day but now it feels so short and I wish I hadn't had it done. I like how my hair is even again and the ends are clean and not brittle and dry. I had my eyebrows waxed too.
Lola has been taking very good care of her babies. I counted them a few days ago, she had 16 in this litter. They are so cute and cuddle-ly but I can't hold all 16 in my hand at once, too many. I cleaned the cage today and counted them 3 times to make sure they all were in the box and I wouldn't be throwing any babies away.
Its just past 6:30 and I guess I'll lie down and watch some tv and then go to bed. L, E
I haven't been blogging because I don't want to have every since post be so emotional and about how sad/upset/lonely I am. And I have been all those things the past few days.
Even work hasn't been good. Saturday I got guilt about changing my available time from the front office manager...she said she wanted to have me train to work the customer service desk - and I would like to learn to do that - but since the hours I am available to work aren't what they want, they won't give me that opprotunity/promotion. Tuesday I just felt so sad being there. The 'spark' was gone. I really liked working there and I big reason was that there was no pressure, it was fun and easy. But with the guilt...its not so fun anymore. And my schedule for this week and next week aren't ideal and once again I had to have them fixed since they scheduled me for times I'm in school. Oh well. Maybe I need to look for a new job. I know every place I work will have some guilt/annoyances but I need a company that will be flexable with the hours I do have available, I will not schedule my school around work. For $8 per hour it is not worth it at all! I guess I'll just see who is hiring and what happens at Xmas Trees from now on.
My finger is better. I 'popped' it last Friday and mushed out almost all the puss and then most of the skin that was over the puss peeled off on Sunday and I think its almost back to normal. I've been using lots of antibacterial gel stuff at work and washing my hands alot and I hope that will help so I won't get any more infections.
I had my hair cut last Thursday. Had about 4 and 1/2 inches snipped off. I liked it that day but now it feels so short and I wish I hadn't had it done. I like how my hair is even again and the ends are clean and not brittle and dry. I had my eyebrows waxed too.
Lola has been taking very good care of her babies. I counted them a few days ago, she had 16 in this litter. They are so cute and cuddle-ly but I can't hold all 16 in my hand at once, too many. I cleaned the cage today and counted them 3 times to make sure they all were in the box and I wouldn't be throwing any babies away.
Its just past 6:30 and I guess I'll lie down and watch some tv and then go to bed. L, E
